How often have you thought to yourself something like, “Why do these things always happen to me?”, “I can’t help myself,” or “I’m only like this because XYZ happened to me.”

You’re certainly not alone in having these types of thoughts … but they are more destructive than you can imagine.

It’s easy to think that things are happening to you — so many of us have been imbued with this idea in our culture, from our parents, or simply because it’s easier to believe that than to consider other ideas.

I was the exact same way.

For years, I saw myself primarily as a victim. My mother was a bipolar alcoholic, so I saw myself as a victim of her. My father died when I was young, and I made it mean that he abandoned me, so I saw myself as a victim of his “abandonment”. Eventually, it got to the point where I saw myself as a victim even when it came to little things.

But then I realized something critical: life isn’t something that happens independent of us. We create our experience of it with our thoughts, beliefs, and emotions.

As humans, we’re more than flesh and blood — we are embodied energy, and that energy flows from you to life and back again. As the source of the energy, you’re the creator of your experience of life. Life isn’t something that happens to you. Your life is a reflection, a mirror of your internal state.

Here’s the part where I call you on your shit:

Since life isn’t something outside of your control, guess what? That means that you can’t play victim any more. All the good stuff in your life, all the bad stuff in your life, it’s all your stuff. So that means all of those narratives that you’ve created about your life, all of those stories about things that happened to you that you’ve lovingly held onto and polished throughout the years, you can’t use them as an excuse any more. Consider this a (loving) kick in the ass to let them go and realize that ultimately, your life comes down to you.

Here’s the part where I make it better:

Once you realize that you do have control over your own life and you step up into that power, something amazing happens. You start to actively create the life you want for yourself, instead of feeling like you have to take whatever comes along. You can choose to delete the old beliefs and feelings that are no longer serving you and replace them with ones that work better. And suddenly, dramatically, your experience of life becomes entirely different.

So my dear, it’s time to stop playing small, stop playing hurt, stop playing victim. It’s time to stop playing altogether. It’s time to start living.

Sometimes easier said that done right? Don’t know where to start?  Join me in my free online Masterclass and let’s start healing… and start living!